Hi again, darlins!!
So, I had my doctor’s appointment today & everything went GREAT!!! Dr. Grevious is very happy with how everything is turning out & is already talking about the next surgery! We’re not even 2 weeks out & I am feeling fabulous!! I got 3 of the 5 drains taken out, so I still have 2 hanging from me, BUT 2 is SOOOOO much better than 5!!! It sucks they couldn’t all come out yet, but for any to even come out this quickly is awesome! The incisions all look freaking amazing & I can’t wait to show you all pics of those SOON! He cleared me to drive because I’ve been off the pain medicine for 2 days now & I can also shower which is HUGE!!! You don’t even know how much you miss a dang FULL shower until you haven’t had one in a week! (ewww, gross, I know…but the honest truth! haha) As for everything else with surgery, I’m doing wonderfully yet again today & have no complaints! Loving the results so far & can’t wait to see where it all goes!!
What I really wanted to talk about tonight is not my surgery though. I have been getting SO SO SO many questions about how I started my journey LONG before being on The Biggest Loser & how I lost the weight I lost at home before learning what we all learned at the ranch. I guess when I was losing the weight beforehand, I didn’t really realize how many people TRULY have the same exact struggles as I do & have a hard time not only getting started, but STAYING motivated!
Let me start by saying that I totally understand what it feels like to be the girl who is so deep in a hole that you can’t get out of it. 18 months ago, I was 435 pounds, sitting in my room in my apartment on my bed with my friends, surrounded by footlong subs, pizza, chips, and sodas watching TV or studying, completely out of control of my body and what I was doing to it. I was slowly killing myself with food, but the saddest part is for the longest time, I didn’t even care that I was doing that. Or maybe it wasn’t that I didn’t care, but I surely was NOT conscious of what I was doing to myself. So trust me, I GET IT! I haven’t always been so mentally “there” like I am now. It was on the night of my 21st birthday that I FINALLY realized that I was slowly killing myself and the bottom line of it was if I didn’t change, I was going to die. Why had I not realized that so much sooner in my life? I don’t know. Why did I finally start to care now? Because I finally realized that if I fully set my mind to something, I could do it. I knew it was HUGE feat to lose close to 25o pounds, but I had to try. I finally had the WILL for myself to try. So that night, I said I was going to start making small changes & never look back. My MIND had completely changed & I was READY!!!!
I started out very slowly…with first weening off of soda. I was drinking close to a 2 liter of REGULAR soda a day and seriously just not caring at all about those empty calories. That first month, I lost close to 15 pounds ONLY from cutting all of that sugar from my life! Crazy huh?! That was small step number1. The second small step I knew would be very difficult. I wanted to start weening off of fast food. Not only was I addicted to fast food, but my friends and I (or just myself) would eat it at least 2 – 3 times a day when I was in college. (Sidenote: My first 2 years of college, I’m pretty sure I probably only cooked 1 or 2 meals!! So sad, but so very true.) Instead of eating it 3 times a day, I started the first week by weening it down to 2 times a day, then 1, then eventually none & I started cooking healthy meals for myself at my apartment. Another month like that, and another10 pounds gone! I then decided to go pick up The Biggest Loser’s 30 Day Jump Start book. I was totally BL obsessed & always thought, “well if those guys can do it, so can I!” So of course I wanted to be inspired by the book! So I picked it up, followed it to the T for 30 days, and lost another 25 pounds!! BOOM…3 months down go by, I’m already down 50 pounds! That was small change number 3! I knew that those first 50 were gonna be the “easiest” 50 and I was going to have to figure out the whole exercise thing next. I knew that at still close to 400 pounds I wasn’t going to start off by running at an 8.0 on a treadmill. Just wasn’t realistic AT ALL. So I decided that any kind of moving would be better than none…small steps 4, 5, 6…etc. Also around that time, my mom WON a BodyMedia at a convention she was at & I was SOOOO excited to finally have one! I wore that thing religiously and more than watching my calories, I watched the amount of steps I was taking each day. At first it was overwhelming and I thought to myself, “Okay, I’m just gonna try to walk 5,000 steps today.” When I realized that was a piece of cake, I upped it. I kept upping it everyday for months. I would ALWAYS want to beat my record from the day before! I kind of beccame obsessive, but it was a good obsession to have! I walked, walked, walked, walked walked my ass off!!! I paced all of the time and rarely sat down. MOVING//WALKING is key!!!! I was still eating right & writing everything down I would eat. I was eating A LOT of fruits & vegetables (unlimited really), a lot of lean protein such as turkey, chicken breast, pork tenderloin, tilapia and ONLY drinking water. I drank nothing but water for a good year! Small step! I then quickly realized that having a SCHEDULE was helpful. Small step! Having my meals planned out, having my workouts planned out, and just knowing what healthy things were going to be in my daily life really kept me going. I started going to the gym EVERY MORNING at 6am with my dad. It was great to have a workout buddy. We’d do cardio for a good 45 minutes and then I would do weight training 3 or 4 times a week. I was just kinda going with the flow and getting workouts from the Biggest Loser website and such. Really, I just kept moving all day everyday. I definitely had my weak moments & had MANY slip ups!! MANY!! There’s no doubt about that. I would go a week or 2 w/being perfect with my food, but then go out and ruin it by eating fast food or overeating on something when I wasn’t even hungry. What I didn’t do was hold myself back from continuing on my journey, but what I did do was learn from my mistake, own it, and KEPT FIGHTING. By the time I knew it, I had lost over 100 pounds & I truly felt like I could take on the world. Do you see how all of the VERY SMALL STEPS added up??? The little things become one big thing if you just want it bad enough. And it was honestly EASY!!!! It took me 9 months to lose 112 pounds on my own at home!
So many people question me & wonder how the heck I did it. Well it’s right there. I took small steps the whole way!!! Yes, I was on a weight loss TV show & yes, on the show you do DRASTIC things to lose weight. But TRUST ME, that is not the only way. I feel like I have the best of both worlds because I was able to experience weight loss in two TOTALLY different ways, pretty much producing the same exact results!!! I lost 112 pounds at home on my own in 9 months and I lost 110 pounds on a weight loss television show in 9 months. So for anyone who says they can’t do it…PLEASE hear my story and KNOW that you can!!! – Believe in yourself, trust the process, and NEVER look back. Only move forward from here on out. Don’t let your mistakes hold you back anymore. Don’t let your MIND hold you back anymore. Nothing is stopping you BUT YOU. When you’re ready, you’ll know it and you will fight every damn day for yourself. You will cut the shit…you will cut the excuses and you will finally be LIVING!!!!
Like I said, I was that 435 pound girl living in a hole for 21 years, and now I’m the 22 year old girl out of that hole on the other side of things, but CONTINUING to fight every single day to stay out of that hole & be the best ME possible. There is never a finish line and I will continue to learn & grow by every single choice I make for the rest of my life. Will you join me in the fight?!